Act like a lady, think like a man

For my beautiful girlfriends and all the men that appreciate and respect women...please read and comment!


Excerpts from the promotion of Steve Harvey's book 'Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man', Oprah's 2/27/9 show, where he was a 15-minute guest.He said the book is the only thing he initially did for free, as a gift to women. He did not expect in his wildest dreams that it would make the 'best-seller' list:"Every man has a plan."A man does not lock eyes with you from across the room or approach youjust to talk, he has a plan. He saw something he wants. This attempt atconversation is to find out how much it will cost him. It is not onlyabout money, but other things like how much time must be invested, whatdoes she want from me, what are her standards.Because men will rise to the occasion, no matter how high the bar isset, it's just that women keep lowering the bar, lowering theirstandards. Women are complicated, they keep talking to eachother, but men are very simple.

Men need only three things: support,loyalty and the cookie."He says if a man introduces you as his friend or just says your name,with no title - you have nothing. Men are very protective, they marktheir territory. If a man loves you, he's willing to profess it.After a while, he'll give you a title - his woman, his lady, his fiance,his baby mama, some title. If after three months he is still introducingyou by your name only, you have nothing. The man who truly has feelingsfor you will give you a title. This is his way of letting everyonewithin the sound of his voice know he is proud of being with you and hehas plans for you.Every man has a plan. He tells of one the times his father-in-law wasvisiting and interrogated the boyfriend of one of his twins. They haddated four or five times and he asks what are his plan for hisgranddaughter. After stumbling and stuttering, he finally mumbles outthat they are just kicking it. So Steve says, that's cool. Let's justbring my daughter in now and inform her that she is just being "kicked"- that you two are just "kicking it" and let's see if that's what shejust wants to do. They broke up the next day.Steve says men are fishermen, either for sport or for food. Women must determine which kind of fish they want to be. If you don't want to be continuously hooked and thrown back, just for sport, you must presentyour standards, you must stop lowering them, you must present yourrequirements. Then if you are hooked, the man knows you are aboutbusiness. In other words, when you're hooked, he must know that you areeventually going home with him, not back into the water.It is the woman that is in control - of everything.The man cannot hold your hand unless you let him, he cannot kiss youunless you let him and he certainly cannot make love to you unless you let him.

Now, with all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish it,just because you want a guy to accept you?Keep your standards where they are! Say to him, if you want to be withme, this is what it takes. He can hook you, but he should not be able toreel you in without meeting your standards.A woman SKYPE's in via satellite with a question for Steve: "When shoulda woman have sex the first time in a new relationship?" Steve cites, asan example, when he once worked on the assembly line at Ford Motor Co.,where there was a probation period for new employees. Like a lot oflarge companies, only after 90 days do you qualify for a benefit package- before allowed to get dental, medical, get my eyes checked. Within those days I was being checked out - whether I was easy to get alongw ith, to work with, whether I was reliable, showing up on time, if I was worthy. Then, and only then, do you get the benefits.

Why do women, who possess the greatest benefits package of all, pass it out so quickly tounworthy guys? Slow down ladies, you cannot run us off, if we want you!And know that men are aware of the fact that you change the rules - whenyou are desperate, when you think there is a shortage of good men outthere. And we play on it.We created terms like 'gold digger' so you don't ask for money; the term'nagging', so that you don't badger us. We created these terms so thatyou will require less of us..God has given all women this incredible gift called intuition. Get in aguy's face, look in his eyes, use that intuition!'Old School' is not dead, chivalry is not dead, it is just not beingrequired anymore.

Virtual love and real romance…

In an age where technology is moving at such high speeds “hover-cars” and “space boots” doesn’t seem so far off. We have become a nation of cyber-junkies. Emailing, web profiles and text messaging have taken the place of phone calls, letters & handshakes. It is not surprising then that the internet has now become such a major resource in the pursuit of finding love. With this we have seen the growth and development of online dating sites. Some of these online dating agencies prove to be better than others and all are offering us a fast and easy way to view a selection of singles that suit our tastes and requirements.

So what are the advantages of online dating and how do you know which are the best sites for your dating needs? Online dating is relatively straightforward; all you need to start with is a profile picture, good internet connection and lots to say about yourself. Many online dating sites have various levels of membership. The most basic normally being free however if you want to make the most out of your online profile the sites requiring a membership fee allow you to access more information about possible love matches. There are also sites that are very specific in the social groups that they are designed for, for instance Asian singles or Caribbean singles making the search for the ideal love match even easier. The best way to find out which sites work for you is by doing some research – asking friends that have used online resources to suggest some and go through a process of trial & error to determine what works best for you.

With all this in mind it’s so easy for us to forget the beauty of human interaction. Therefore the next step upon getting in touch with a possible love match online is to meet them; a daunting but necessary act in the pursuit to find love online. When organising these first dates with an online connection it’s important to ensure that any dates are in safe and interesting places. Restaurants and art galleries are great, traditional places to meet up for that first ice-breaking date, especially as they are in a neutral location. It’s important not to spend too much time getting to know each other online before meeting as quite often profiles can be made to seem better than the real person; which leads to disappointment. Why not try out the Sociality event on July 12th to get to meet fabulous new people in the city.


By registering online, www.stareventsuk.blogspot.com and paying a small ticket fee of £5, individuals are invited to Sociality, a night for single professionals to mingle and meet new people in a relaxed environment, The Gate in Farringdon. Sociality prides itself on being a fun and interactive way of meeting new people – We encourage guests to register for the event in mixed sex pairs.

Where have all the good men gone?

There seems to be a conspiracy for women in the singles scene, a mystery that not even Agatha Christie or Sherlock Holmes can solve. It’s the mystery of the “Good Man”. They say he exists, he’s been written about and sung about for years, surely not every Hollywood romantic comedy and Mills & Boonä novel can be wrong. Somewhere out there for every woman there has to be that “Tall, Dark and Handsome” hero, yet for many women they just can’t find that “good man”.

So what is a “Good man”? Like many things in life this definition is subjective. My simple definition is a man who is confident in himself enough to respect humanity and celebrate the beauty of life. There are many elements that can encompass this – honesty, kindness, passion that we cannot forget, but these lead onto subjective tastes and attitudes. He is a man who is proud in his own skin and with that pride carries his integrity on his sleeve. With this I propose that the “good men” are all around us! To be good is not just about being able to buy your partner the most expensive gifts or raiding Kew Gardens every evening for the perfect bouquet of flowers (although that helps! J ). Anyone can do those things in practice but in principal their hearts and minds are not true.

So where is this elusive “good man” if he does exist?

He is out there but he won’t come to you – you have to find each other. “That’s obvious!” I hear you cry. But honestly how often do you go out with a sexy, CONFIDENT smile on your face, proud of your beauty and exuding your love for life. I’m not talking about going clubbing or to bars with the hope of meeting a “half decent bloke” – I’m talking about going everywhere with the INTENTION of meeting your “good man”. There are so many barriers to that smile, that confidence, that beauty, that it’s a wonder any woman can walk out with her head held high – The bad hair days, the fat days, the memories of those bad experiences we had with those guys that haunt us each and every time we meet someone new… I know it’s hard to positive when there are just days you don’t feel like the beauty queen that you are or when you hear another story about a guy mistreating a lady. But give it some time, let go of all those internal barriers and be comfortable and sure that you are just right the way you are. With that the “good man” (based on the definition I outlined above) will attract each other.

All good things take time and in the mean time might I suggest that we start to celebrate all of our men! Men are absolutely FANTASTIC! Look around you in your community – the bus driver that gets you to destination (after working 10 hours on the same route), your GP (who tries his best to make you feel healthy despite NHS cuts), the fathers and grandfathers who make you feel like a princess. Not forgetting our great men through history: Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein and Gandhi. Be open to finding your “good man”, he’s just around the corner and he’s searching for you too!

If you want to get out there more why not check out Sociality organised by StAR Events for new ways to meet those “good men”.

Ronke Lawal
StAR Events UK